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Question: We had a bad time at one club... now Im having a hard time getting my wife to try another.

Dear Lounge Advice,
Hi Guys, we've chatted a bit on here but not much. Ok, Debbie and I have super sex together; have been dating for 2 years, plan on marriage in the future. We talk about our fantasies in the bedroom. Last year, when I put this ad on LL we went to a Club in NJ, it wasn't to our expectations/standards, but we did have a 'nice' time. We went back a second time. Spoke with some couples, most were 'clickish', we watched 2 girls do a guy in the hallway, then we went down stairs on the 'mats' where others were playing/having sex. We did our thing while we watched others and others watched us. (We did not play with others, although we were asked).
Debbie's fantasy was to do this as we talked about being with another woman for her and myself. Then she said she'd rather be with 2 guys rather than with another woman. I don't have a problem with that. My issue is that Debbie was turned off by this club, thinks that places like TogaJoe's, other dance/adult/couples clubs are pure sex. Perhaps I sold it wrong to her in the first place, taking about MY fantasies. Now Debbie has no interest in being with another woman or going to a club. It's a fantasy of mine and I'm not clear on what to do. She did however say she would give TogaJoe's a try, etc.
HELP ??????? Because my fantasy is to get to know one or two couples who enjoy the beach/dinner/friendship and knowing that we all enjoy sex, and could possibly play together as good friends. (Debbie wonders why I need this kind of friendship). Your advice is welcome and needed. We LOVE sex, we enjoy watching porn, and enjoy going to nude resorts/beaches.



Dear (Anonymous),

Every different club and party has their own different dynamic. You should definately give Toga Joes or the other parties in the areas a try.

Most are "off premise" events and socials were you will be able to meet like-minded people... without having to be subjected to seeing people have sex on the premises.

Different people react differently to those situations. Perhaps she was not attracted to anyone who was there at that time and its just a guess, but again everyone reacts differently.

You need to be supportive of her in whatever her decision is, even if it means not going. If you force her, it's guaranteed that she will have a terrible time.

What you may also wish to try doing is make a commitment to her that no matter what-you will not "do" anything with another couple that night you go. You are just going to meet people and both have a good time. If you removed that from the equation, then she may also feel more comfortable about trying something different.

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