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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Relationship Advice
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Friendships, Clubs & More...
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Question: I have been with bi women and my boyfriend is not open minded about it... we are getting serious... what should I do?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I'm in a bit of a bind, I am a 26 year old female. I currently have a boyfriend who is not very open minded at all. Before I met him, I was with a few couples, and a few single women. and I enjoyed having the option to do whatever I wanted to do. My problem is, that my boyfriend and I have talked about marriage. He is very good to me, and we have fun together. But I just wonder if I can go the rest of my life without fooling around in the lifestyle? I don't really want to be with other guys, besides watching and being watched, but some of my best experiences have been with women. I've always pictured myself finding someone that was in the lifestyle or open to the lifestyle like myself. What do I do?




Dear (Anonymous),

We do not know your boyfriend or why he is not openminded... so we can only speculate. For many people, just the concept of the lifestyle goes against everything they have always been taught. For many people there are jealousy and security issues which can only be overcome by feeling secure in their relationship. You guys are just starting out.

For example, we were married for 6 years before we even thougth of experimenting in the Lifestyle. If you would have talked to us about the lifestyle even a year before that time... we would have looked at you like you were freak.

We feel strongly that couples should not experiment in the Lifetyle until they are secure in their relationships... and their marriages if they are married. This is all about trust... the level of trust that many people never even get to.

Whether or not you move into a deeper relationship with this boyfriend is a decision that you need to make yourself. We think you need to make that commitment with the understanding that he may never be comfortable with the idea.

If being with other women sexually is how you are going to define yourself.. .then you ought to think twice about it... as there is no guraranty that he would go for it.

However, love is not easy to find these days... and you need to decide whether losing what could be an excellent father and wonderful husband is worth giving up the moment of ecstacy you feel with a woman.

Who knows.. maybe over time he will be secure enough in the relationship that he will warm to the idea... for most men married over time.. that becomes a very very exciting thought.

Determine what your priorities are.. and choose the route with your heart.
Good luck in whatever you decide !!
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