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Question: We have a hard time initiating the physical act.. any suggestions?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for many years. And there only seems to be one real problem, and that is making the transition into the intimate. Making that first move seems to be so very difficult. We have all talked and are all comfortable with the idea, so we go to a hotel or someones home then six hours have passed and nothing. No one wants to feel like they are pushing this issue. Is there an easy way to just let things happen with out haveing to come right out and saying it, or making an overt move that some may take offence to. Thanks

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We find that the easiest way is to come right out and say something. It can be as benign as "Hey do you guys want to play?"

We also find it a lot less threatening if the women are the ones to get things started.. but that is assuming that they are bi and that the woman is able to do it.

When we were thinking about this, what came to mind is to think of some sort of game or something to get things going (strip poker?) but then again, we are all big boys and girls here and perhaps the best thing to do is just to come right out and say it.

Of course its uncomfortable at first, but after you give it a shot you will see that its really no big deal. In fact, the other people will breath a lot better once it is out in the open because chances are, they are thinking the same thing!
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