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Question: What are some ways to investigate the lifestyle to help me get more comfortable with the idea?

Dear Lounge Advice,
i have never been a part of this lifestyle, but he has and hopes that one day i will be interested.

i was raised with the notion that once you find the person you love you don't need to be with anyone else.

i like being with other couples flirting and being social, but the notion of being intimate with anyone else just makes my heart ache.

i've read most of the advise you have given and you emphasize that it's something that should be FUN for the couple.

what are some easy, non threatening, non detrememtal means that i could investigate the lifestyle and understand it for the fun it can be?

V

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

If you are experiencing Anything that resembles heartache... STOP

You guys need to take a few steps back and you need to sit him down and explain to him that even if he has been involved in the lifestyle before... you have not.. and its not an easy thing for you to accept.

Tell him that he will need to be patient with you and take things VERY slowly. The other option is NOT to take part in it.


We suggest that you find a local club or social event in your area to attend.. but have him make a commitment to you that you will NOT DO ANYTHING with anyone. You need to be clear that he is making that promise to you so you can feel comfortable.

Then just go together and observe the people and how they interact. Watching everyone having fun and not being threatened... perhaps you will understand what its about....

When we started we went to couples clubs almost every weekend for months before we did anything. We just went and had a good time with each other and explored what was going on around us.... after some time.. we felt more comfortable.

We cant promise that you will ever achieve that comfort level.. but seeing and meeting the people and seeing how much they are in love with each other and do not see the Lifestyle as a threat to their relationship may bring some new insight to you.

Good Luck !!!

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