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Question: I am single and want to meet another single in the Lifestyle for a relationship... do you think that would work?
Dear Lounge Advice,
I have been in this lifestyle for a few years now as a single. I would ultimately like to find someone special in my life. Since I have been in this lifestyle for a while, I think I would like to continue these types of experiences if/when I ever meet that someone special.
What have been your experiences of two single people meeting in this lifestyle and becoming a couple? Do you think that becoming a couple and exploring this lifestyle together from the beginning of the lifestyle can work?
Although we are sure that this and anything is possible... we do not think that this is the way to go about it. In our experience it is very rare.
Understand that we come from the perspective of a couple and not singles... so its hard for us to answer this... but we can only tell you what we have seen in over 8 years.
We feel that in order to really be successful in the lifestyle there needs to be a strong foundation of trust and honesty in a relationship and it usually takes a long time for couples to develop their relationship to that level.
In our experiences those things should be developed in an environment void of others. If you circumvent that process, its not that you wont succeed in the lifestyle.. but you risk missing out in developing bonds that exist and grow outside of the Lifestyle. You also risk your relationship becoming dependant on taking part in the Lifestyle and that is not really healthy in real world.
Many men (singles) find it hard to find women who are cool about the lifestyle and therefore figure they will have to meet someone who has been in it or is in it now. The truth is that you can meet someone great who you love to death but who will just never get into it.
What you need to do is decide what your priorities are.
Our advice is that you should develop a relationship outside and develop those bonds that make the idea of participating in the Lifestyle possible.
Now we know there are going to be exceptions to every rule and there are probably couples who have met thru the lifestyle and who have terrific marriages... but we are only speaking from what experiences we have had with others... it rarely works.
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