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Question: We are having problems with agreeing on our priorities between family and the lifesytle can you help us?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for 2 years now. We love it! Our problem is now, I want to start a family. He does'nt. He likes things just the way it is. Parties, outings every fri/sat night. The lifestyle has become a way of life lately for us. And he wants more, by possibly hosting our own parties. For me, I'm thinking is this it? I want more meaning in my life. More depth. Its fun and all but I need more. We both know having a child will change our life forever in everyway. For him it would be taking time away from the lifestyle that he so much loves. We will always be "in" the lifestyle. I just want to focus on other parts of my life now.
We both are holding on to our decisions. And are condsidering spliting up even though we both love each other very much.
My question is, Has this been a problem for others? And, Where can we go to find a liberal counselor? Thoughts and suggestions would be greatly appriciated.


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We cannot speak for others but can tell you that over the years we have always put our relationship and our family ahead of the Lifestyle.

We feel strongly that when the Lifestyle begins to define who you are and what you do, you need to step back and do a priority check.

If you are at the point of contemplating breaking up a marriage over this.. we would strongly urge that you seek some professional help. There is NO shame in this at all.. in fact you may find this to be the way to bring everything into perspective and bring you both back on the same page.

As far as finding a counselor who is understanding of the Lifestyle it is like seeking any other professional help, you need to ASK them directly how they feel about it and you can gauge your choice on their answers. Don't be afraid to speak to them up front about your concerns.
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