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Question: We are considering quitting the Lifestyle as we are begining to feel a little jealous feelings... what should we do.

Dear Lounge Advice,
My boyfriend and I are in a very loving relationship, in fact it is the healthiest relationship that he and/or I have ever experienced. We met just under a year ago in a "lifestyle" situation so it has always been a part of "us" and we embrace it as fate because we are so like minded, (It's not everyday that you meet someone as daring as this). As a result, we have each found our ideal life partner, someone who is loving and open minded.We are truly soul mates and pride ourselves in being more open minded than most of the general population. Now the issue: as time goes by, he (and yes, me too from time to time)is/are showing signs of jealousy and possesiveness. This is something that we try very hard to not let it manifest or show because we do not believe that this emotion should be given any validity, we see it is useless and counterproductive to basic human nature. As a result, however, I am left unsure of how to resolve the situation because his/our comfort and happiness is of the utmost importance. We have agree that we would give it up before we sacrifice our relationship.We are very open minded, comfortable in our relationship and willing to embrace the aspects of this chosen lifestyle. We pride ourselves on being more forward thinking than the majority of the population and although we have both dabbled in the idea of swinging before,(not the first for him or I) neither one of us has ever been deeply in love with the person/people that we have had prior experiences. Adding that factor into the equation proves to be something we were not prepared for. It is becoming the whole "logic vs. emotion" factor. Now comes the question: taking all that into consideration, how do I calm any uncertainties that he may be having and how do we get past the problem, or should we call it quits (in the lifestyle) for now.We embrace growing together instead of growing apart and are determined to be open and honest with everything. We woulde never want to put one another in that "box" that society says is "normal". Any suggestions you have are appreciated and although I am aware that it will be shared, I am assuming that this letter will remain anonomys (mispelled I am sure but it's very late).

Thanks in advance to all the "veteren" lifestyle couples for your advice.


Dazed and Confused

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You guys really sound like you got it together.. whether you know it or not... you guys GET IT !!

You have learned that the two of you are ALL that matters !!! Its wonderful and refreshing to hear that your first and foremost concern is your relationship.

Here is our advise for you... take a break from the Lifestyle for a bit... every once in a while we like to take a break and just chill from anything related to the Lifestyle and live in the outside world for a while...

Here is a newsflash... when you decide to come back... you are allowed right in!!!

Sometimes feelings of wanting more closeness or security are masked as jealousy... take some time off to be with each other without the influences of others and you will find that if you do return.. it will be even more fun and exciting...

And if you never return... who cares... enjoy each other !!!!
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