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Question: How do I ease the anxiety about the Lifestyle

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are a very new couple to the lifestyle. My husband and I are very strong in our relationship. We've been together since we were in high school. I am wondering how I can ease the tension I feel about the lifestyle. I have a personality that is open to new things but I'm afraid of losing him, or becoming so jealous that I can't get over it, how do you handle things like this? Hope to get some good advice.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

The best way to ease the anxiety is to GO SLOWLY.

There are lots of differnt ways that people participate in Lifestyle related activities without diving right into the deep end.

If you take your time and go slowely you will feel a lot less threatened... and also will feel more comfortable that this is really about the two of you.. and not anyone else.

This also requires that you guys OVERCOMMUNICATE about how you feel about everything.

THe most important step that you need to take is to set up your rules for each other and stick to them. Set up parameters that are well within your comfort level. Then you can go and enjoy yourselves without a fear of the unknown.

One last hint... make sure that you guys agree that you will not break a rule that you have set for yourselves until after you have had a chance to discuss it in the privacy of your home.. and NOT in the heat of a moment. Those moments will surely come around again.. but we know from experience that if someone feels pressured to change the rules.. .it ends up a nightmare.

As a side note... when we began in the Lifestyle, we had gone to clubs and parties and did NOTHING physcially with others for 3 months... but during that time we had sex like rabbits !!!

Good luck and let us know how it goes !
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