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Question: My wife is hinting about lifestyle related activities.. how do I approach her with this?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife and I have been married for over 5 years. Sex with her is wonderful, but sporadic. Prior to meeting her I was active in the lifestyle as a single male and enjoyed a few passionate experiences with other couples. Sex for my wife began as a near sin, however over the past few years she has opened up more and more. I have shared some, and only some of my experiences with her and I have noticed as of late she seems to have become a little more accepting (She has become a "Real Sex" fan on HBO) We know she has a male "Admirer" in a couple of her classes at school, whom we joke about "I asked her if she ever fantasized about having a black experience) Her response was far from an afirmation, but she did ask if I was interested in a MFM. I get the feeling she is right on the edge and I would like to ask your advise on how to gently point her in that direction without hurting her or making her feel like I want her to do something she does not want to do. Any advise would help...thanks.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You have to try to talk to her at the time that she is bringin these things up.

For example, after you guys watch "Real Sex", discuss her feelings with her- how she felt about it, what excited her, what she would fantasize about doing.

Then you can even ask her about what she meant when she brought up the MFM thing. Do not put her on the spot by just asking her, "Do you REALLY want to do that" but instead, ask what about that excites her.

Its a good idea to tell her how you feel about her and wanting her to fulfill her fantasies.. and try to keep it centered around her.

If she thinks this is your idea. She might be more hesitant, but maybe if she relates to things that excites her. You can find some adult films or something like that which center around what excites her. If it is a MFM, etc.

Center around her and ask her probing questions without adding you into the mix right now, and see where it takes you.
Good Luck !!!
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