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Question: How can I overcome the anxiety of the thought of full swapping

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been in the lifestyle about a year and a half and have remained "soft swap". We have discussed going further and my wife is ready but I feel uneasy thinking of another man screwing my wife. I enjoy watching her give another man a blow job or him eating her, but the final act has me on edge. We were at a club the other night and my wife asked if I wanted to "F***" another woman. I know most guys would have jumped at the chance but I know if we cross that line, she will want another too (its only fair). How can I overcome this anxiety that restricts us. Thanks

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

There is no magical advice we can give you... other than to tell you that you should NOT move ahead with that until you are sure you are ok with it.

A relationship and your future in the lifestyle can go downhill quickly if you just dive in the pool with the concerns that you have.

Some will say just go for it.. but we are conscious of the fact that this is a very dangerous game that we all play here... and the best advice is always to go the safe route.

The thought of "fucking another woman" may not be exciting for you now, as it comes with another thought.. and that is, "someone else will be fucking my wife"

If you are uncomfortable with that idea at all.. then DO NOT DO IT !!!

We know many couples that have been soft swap only for years and years.. and some forever... there is no right or wrong.. there is only comfort and excitement.

If you are not going to be comfortable with the idea... then trust us.. it will NOT be a pleasurable experience... and you may even find yourself unable to perform due to the anxiety.. and that will just exaserbate the terrible overall experience you may have.

We are very big fans of NOT doing anything you are not 100% comfortable with.. in our experience.. and after years of dealing with others... we have learned that the best course is to be supportive, understanding, and wait until you are both 100% comfortable with the idea.

One last thing.. you need to also be honest with your wife and tell her about the apprehensions that you feel.. and that this is supposed to be about fun.. for the both of you.

You are feeling anxiety about the whole full swap thing.. and we are sure that when she asks you about it... it must not feel so good... so try to get her to understand how you feel.. and dont hold that inside.

Over time, when you are not thinking or stressing about it.. and you meet the "right" couple.. it may just click for you.
Good Luck !
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