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Question: OUTED in a small town

Dear Lounge Advice,
We were recently contacted by a couple who thought that we were compatible Ok so we exchange pictures and wrote back and forth a couple of times. They found out that we were from the same town as her brother who is in the lifestyle also. THEY SHOWED OUR PICTURES TO HER BROTHER. We live in a very very small town were everybody know everybody now these people know who we are, we do not know them.they did not ask our permission to share our photos with her brother, they proceeded to tell us that her brother thought it was funny that we were in the lifestyle and that his opinion of us was not high which I don't even know this person so I don't know if I value his opinion. I am just sick about all of this I don't how anyone could be so inconsiderate. how do i deal with this?



Dear (Anonymous),


This is a VERY unfortunate situation.

While I agree that the behavior of this member is extremely violating....you also need to look at this as a learning experience about sending photos to people you do not know personally via the Internet.
Especially with members that are not certified 100% Real. You can't be guarantee that a 100% Real Seal certified would behave better, but the likelyhood is that they would. (Providing access to a Lifestyle Lounge account, or showing photos to a non-member is a violation of the Lifestyle Lounge terms and condtions. You may wish to contact the administration on this matter so they can take approriate action against this member.)

I would suggest that you politely contact this member and express your concerns to them over this issue and seek some assurances that they will repeat this behavior with anyone else in the future.

Just be honest with this member about the whole situation and try to help them understand how damaging it could be to you two if word got around town.

I would not panic at this point yet.

The brother may not say anything to anyone in your small town due to the fact that he might "out" his sister in the process of trying to gossip about you two...so this situation may actually just stay under wraps.

As far as your account on the Lifestylelounge goes..I would suggest the following.

If you have a certified account then move all you photos to the Password Protected area.

No one will be able to view them with out you giving them the password... so at least you will be able to control who is viewing your photos on the site.

If you are not certified... either get certified ASAP or remove your photos to prevent anyone looking for you on the site from verifying by your photos that the "rumor" they heard was true.

You can also request to have your member name changed and change your zip code to another location away from your area for a while until the peepers from your small town(if anyone does find out about you).

Your family and your livelihood come first before the Lifestyle....if you are worrying yourselves sick over this situation and living in fear....then by all means remove all of your photos and....deny,deny,deny.

Not that I ever condone lying....but in this situation you might have to fib a little.... if you are approached by one of your town folk on this issue....just tell them that someone stole some photos of you two and put them on a swinger site.


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