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Question: Turned down for a Private Party

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are a reasonably attractive, inter-racial couple with a 'straight' woman. We have enjoyed clubs, met play partners, and through LL found out about other lifestyle parties/activities. Now we find ourselves in the unpleasant predicament of being turned down by 'exclusive' parties that advertise in the events section of LL. Generally we get a polite email that says "we are full," when we know they are still accepting other couples, or no response at all after the first email asking us to release pictures.

We are able to take rejection by other couples in our stride (part-and-parcel of dating,lifestyle), but is there a way to handle rejection by advertised events and not feel singled out? And yes, being able to even write this to someone helps.



Dear (Anonymous),

Unfortunately, you should put your pride in your pocket and find a different Event to attend.

Private and Exclusive Parties have every right to impose their own selection process and criteria to refuse any one they want to.

The "thanks but we are booked" letter is a gentle way to turn someone down than to blatantly tell you the specific reasons why you were not accepted to attend.

There are plenty of fun parties and events to attend out there...don't let this one you’ve been turned away from get you down.

Perhaps you can try introducing yourselves to the actual owners of this particular party at a lifestyle convention or the like. It may give them a better perspective on who you are and get you in the door next time.


Lounge Advice

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