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Question: Should I tell about my involvement in the lifestlye after one date?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I met a man today off of yahoo personals. It's so odd to say this, but after spending all day with him I could really see myself falling for him. He and I have discussed investing time into one another and trying to see if we can develop something more meaningful, such as a long term relationship. But as we were joking around I mentioned swinging and he was totally against it.

But I had told myself that I'd never give up swinging because I enjoy it too much. So, should I tell him about this side of me and risk losing him or should I not mention it and go on as if it never happened? Whats my best aproach and options. I just dont want to deceive him is all.

I really like this guy and want to see something happen between us, any advice?




Dear (Anonymous),

Well, if you only have met the guy once...you may want to consider holding off telling him everything about yourself until you get to know him a lot better first.
Make sure there is actually a true love interest and relationship developing between the two of you as first impressions are not always what they seem.

The lifestyle is a lot of fun..... but it is not a substitute for a close....perhaps permanent ...relationship with a partner.

You need to decide what you really want the most in life....a relationship or the lifestlye.
You may not be able to have both.

If you truly are interested in pursueing a healthy relationship with this man then eventually you need to be honest about your thoughts and feelings about everything.....including the lifestyle.

There should never be any mysteries or untold truths about each other lying in the background as they are the ingredients of deceipt and mistrust ...which is usually the cause of most break ups in relationships.

If you are honest about your involvement in the lifestyle....he will either accept it or reject it...and maybe you as well.

If it's the later then at least you can feel good about the fact that you were honest to him about yourself.

It's also possible that he just told you he was against it just because he thought that it what you wanted to hear.

It's a risk you have to decide to take.
If you are lucky you may find out that he is not as opposed to the lifestlyle as he led you to believe....and maybe you can have the best of both worlds and explore it together.

Take your time and be honest...that's our advice.


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