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Question: What is the best way to approach a couple we are interested in?

Dear Lounge Advice,

We consider ourselves an attractive couple (in our early 40's) and always go out of our way to look our sharpest. At "Swing Parties" we find that Couples tend to be reserved and rarely ever make a move to meet other couples. Usually they just sit there or will only dance with each other. What is the best way to approach a couple we are interested in, without appearing "aggressive" or "desperate"? Before we even ask them anything, how can one tell if they even appear interested?

PS--We're not talking about Private-home Swing parties, we've never had a problem there ;-)



Dear (Anonymous),

There is an old saying ....
"If you don't throw a hook in the water you will never catch anything"

The more people you attempt to meet the better the odds are you will find a connection with a couple.

If you see someone you want to meet...try positioning you and your partner near by for a bit ... watch to see if they "notice" you more than a time or two...and don't be suprized if they just come right over and pull you out on the dance floor with them:)
We've actually seen that happen a time or two:)

We have found that one of the best ways to meet new people is simply to walk up and introduce ourselves to the person/couple we both find a common interest in.

Watch for good eye contact and body language from both partners.
These are great indicators if a couple is interested in you two or not.
Couples that are interested tend to look you in the eye more when they talk to you and stand closer to you.

Try to ask questions that require more than a one word answer but are not too intrusive.
For example..."How are you enjoying the Party so far?" or "Have you been here before or is this your first event?"
Questions like these are great to use to start a conversation between the two parties.

Don't forget the "magic" words...compliments will get you everywhere:)
All people love receiving them but rarely do people take the time to give them...even the simplest ones can really make a persons day or night...and they remember the people that gave them to them.

If you seem to hit it off pretty well...but are not sure if the vibe is mutual...try moving on...give them some space and meet a some more people.
If your paths magically cross again a time or two during the event...that's a sure sign that there is some mutual attraction between both couples....especially if you are not actively seeking them out the second time or two.

If you still are not to sure if there is interest or not then make SURE to give them your member name, some way to contact you after the event, and or invite them to join you after the party...if they are interested they will most likely utilize one of those options to catch up with you later.

The more you try to meet people the better you will understand what seems to work best for you and your partner and yields the best results.

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