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Question: Giving out Rejections..Not interested in being anything more than friends.

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are a couple that enjoys both the social aspect, and the sexual side of the lifestyle. However, we are much more choosy about who we sleep with then who we befriend. We have been finding ourselves in situations where we are socializing, having fun and flirting with people we wouldn't necessarily consider bedmates. But are still having alot of fun, enjoying their company and would condiser becoming close friends with. The couples we want to be friends with, but not sleep with then become offended when we tell them that they are not our type of sexual partners, but we would love to maintain a friendship with them. Sounds cheesy to the recipient, but true none the less.

I can understand that from their point of view, if they're not looking for friends, they may feel that they have just wasted an evening with a couple that didn't even want to sleep with them. Should we only talk to the people we want to play with or risk leading people on and hang out with the ones that we connect better with on a social level.

How do you not lead people on while still having fun? We don't want to give up bar meets and other social outlets with the LL group because we enjoy them immensley, but if it means holding back and not having fun the way WE have fun (flirting, pda, dirty dancing), I guess we'd rather stay home!

Thanks!



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

By all means...continue to be yourselves.

Unfortunatly..not everyone handles rejection gracefully and this can put you in an uncomfortable position from time to time.

There is no reason to avoid people you have no desire to play with ...unless they are being rude or unkind to you after figuring out that you are not interested in "joining" them.

Sometimes people can't take the advance "hints" and you have to speak frankly to them. It is never pleasant to have to do this...but at least they will understand that you were being honest.
Once they get over the rejection...many times they appreciate your openess, still have a blast hanging out with you....and just can't resist being your friends.

Sincerely,



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