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Question: Is there a proper way to stop playing if things are not going well.

Dear Lounge Advice,

So there you are in the heat of passion with a couple you had waited months to finally meet when a sudden odor or physical appearance (bumps, rash) is noticed and you no longer feel interested. Is there a proper way to stop what you're doing and back up? Should you tell the person or couple what the problem is?

Thanks

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

These types of situations can be very uncomfortable at the moment...but you and your partner should always be prepared for it.

If you notice something is "seriously" not right ...for example.... a rash on or around the privates area of a playmate...you should stop....act very concerned and ask that person "are you aware that you have a rash? " or more directly "Oh my... What is the rash from?"
Acting concerned or suprised (even though you may be disgusted and terrified) will help you cope with the moment and not make you look so accusing.
But asking.. is for your benefit..even if it is hard to do it.
If there is a possible STD involved...and you have been playing...then you have a responsibility to everyone to ask questions.

If you feel you do not get an immediate, honest and sensible answer...then simply excuse yourselves and leave.

If the person admits to an STD....it is probably best to call it a night,go your way and contact your doctor in the morning.

If there is something more harmless that is killing the moment...like really bad body odor or a change of heart...some people use "code words" or a specific gesture to let their partner know that there is a problem.
You should always have some "real;)" back out explanations handy and prepared in case you feel "the need to leave".

Sincerely,



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