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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: She's vanilla..should I tell her I swing?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I just met a nice vanilla single gal that I am interested in. I met her online and we get along fabulously. I have been in the lifestyle for a year now and was wondering how and if I should tell her about it. She understands me well and I am not looking to screw this up, any advice?




Dear (Anonymous),

It might not be a bad idea to hold off telling her "everything" until you are sure there is really "something" developing between you two.

New relationships are always a challenge and may be even more so if you are trying to stay active in the lifestyle and date "vanilla" at the same time.

You may want to consider taking a break from the lifestyle while you explore the possibilities of a relationship with your new friend.

If you feel comfortable enough to do so...try discussing the subject of sex in general with her before you start a physical relationship and see what her feelings are on that topic are.
It's a perfect opportunity to throw the subject of swinging on the table just to see what her reaction is.
It might also be a great opportunity to let her know you have been involved in the lifestyle in the past.
Remember....lying about your envolvement in the lifestyle will do more damage than good.

At some point.... you will need to discuss your participation in the lifestyle with her.
She will either accept it or not....but don't expect her to join you in the lifestyle.

The real question is...are you ready to give up the lifestyle for a relationship?
Eventually,it may boil down to choosing one or the other.

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