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Question: How do I say I'm not interested, without hurting their feelings?

Dear Lounge Advice,

How do you tell a couple who contacts you that you are not attracted to them without hurting their feelings? Should I just be honest and tell them that the attraction is not "there" or ignore their email?

Thanks!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

This is a great question, especially since we are all human beings who are concerned with other’s feelings. First and foremost, most of us are mature adults in the lifestyle and it is all about attraction and chemistry for many of us.

Since we are all big boys and girls, we believe that the best approach is to be simple and to the point. Our standard “No Thank You” letter goes something like this:

Dear So & So,
Thank you very much for the nice compliment. Although we are always interested in meeting new people and making new friends, we do not believe that we would make a very good match.

In the end, people usually have more respect for taking the time to be honest, rather than ignoring or deleting without any response.

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