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Question: Play time problems and disagreements

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have ground rules set up that we are comfortable with, which is no oral or intercourse. We feel it's the smart thing to take it slow and has worked out so far.

The problem is when things get rolling I find myself checking to see if my wife is following the rules. Perhaps a blanket is involved and I can't see where his head is. I feel I can trust her but not the other guy.

I'm wondering if we wipe out the oral and intercourse rules if this may help solve this problem. This way if something is happening it may be a little uncomfortable for me but would not be cheating or breaking the rules.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

If your rules are no oral and no intercourse than you have put some pretty extreme limits to your play time options with others.
Most couples in the lifestyle are a bit more open about playing so you are probably setting yourselves up for problems and frustrations when playing with others if you are not willing to explore letting things go further than that if overyone is comfortable.

If you feel you two have reached a point where you need to open up your play time rules then by all means relax,trust each other and try some new experiences.

If you are not comfortable in expanding your play time options with out being jealous or controlling then you and your wife need to take break from play time with other people until you are both playing on the same page and comfort level.

It sounds like you personally are experiencing feelings of jealously and lack of trust in your wife.
Talk to your wife about how you are feeling and see what her advice is.

If you have met some couples you feel comfortable with in the lifestyle...try discussing your thoughts and feelings together with them and see how they deal with these types of issues.

Sincerely,



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