Lifestyle Swinging Etiquette: Giving & Receiving Rejection Online By
Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott
There will always be the inevitable battle
with rejection- both giving and receiving it. Here are some tips to deal with
getting turned down and for turning other down with dignity.
to Preserve Self-Dignity When Dealing Out Rejection
If someone e-mails you and they just aren’t
your type, there is a simple way to let them know that you aren’t interested.
your interest in our profile! Although we do not feel that we are a match, we
wish you the best of luck in finding what you seek. Happy swinging to you!
If you’re open to pursuing friendships with
others with whom you don’t necessarily seek a physical attraction, here’s a
similar response you can send:
your interest in us! Although we don’t feel that we are a match, we'd still love
to chat with you, since making friends is one of our main goals here. If a
friendship with benefits is what you're exclusively seeking, we certainly won't
take it personally if you don't wish to pursue us any longer. Either way, we
hope all of your dreams and fantasies come true!
This not only gives them the chance to take
the rejection with their dignity intact, but it also proves you to be a classy
person by responding to their e-mail despite your disinterest, and doing so in a
classy manner. You do not need to provide reasons for your disinterest. That
is your business, not theirs. If they write back asking for the reason, you can
either choose to ignore it, or politely inform them that the reasons do not
matter, only that you aren’t a match as you said in your initial correspondence.
When on the
Receiving End, Don’t Take It Personally
You may also be at the receiving end of a
rejection. Do not take it personally.
Everyone has their own standards and
preferences. That is what makes a diverse lifestyle so wonderful. There is
someone for everyone. Everyone has seen scenarios, though, where people's
standards have been so high that they just couldn't find anyone they wanted. If
this is what they are seeking, that's fine, but will make it very hard. You must
remember that a lot of people are still trying to find that 'perfect' couple.
You must also remember, though, that the 'perfect' couple may be seeking
something even more 'perfect' than themselves. If people were to set their
standards to something more attainable to them, they may have more luck.
Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be super picky. Don't be offended if someone
tells you politely that you're not their type. Remember, you have your standards
and they have theirs. Superficial sometimes? Yes. This is everyone's right,
though. Just be persistent and open-minded, and you'll eventually find your
People’s Preferences Can be Complicated
Over time, people’s preferences and
experiences will evolve. Many times, you may notice that young people, or new
people in the lifestyle go mainly by looks. There is nothing wrong with this at
all, because this quest has a lot to do with attraction. Many are guilty or
searching for Ken and Barbie at first. As one gains more experience in the
lifestyle, one learns quickly that looks don't always equate to substance. You
may desire more than just a one night stand, as this may not be your
prerogative. You'll find that certain personalities become a turn-off to you, no
matter how beautiful the person is, and certain personalities become an
aphrodisiac, even if the initial attraction was not present. Many swingers
prefer to find not only attraction, but personality, wit and humor. Impossible,
of course not! All of us have met fantastic people with all of these qualities.
No, it's not easy, but that's what patience teaches us. Most just aren't into
the beautiful people who are ugly inside, and have found some of the most
awesome people just by chatting and being friends first. This is only some
people’s preference though, and you may evolve differently in the lifestyle.
Thus, preferences vary vastly from couple to couple, and if we try to analyze
one’s criteria for friends and bedmates, we will take the focus away from having
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