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spotlight profile

We are a warm fun couple. seeking other couples
   

BVRBSCPLT0PL4Y
SAINT CHARLES, IL


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Five Common Questions for New Swinging Couples in the Lifestyle: Dating Tips for Swingers in Palatine, IL and Your Local Area

By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott

Having questions and concerns is common among couples first seeking to enter the swinging lifestyle. It is healthy to seek answers to these questions before exploring swinging curiosities. Although there are many questions that come to mind, here are five of the most prevalent questions couples ask before going further.

Will swinging be a detriment to our marriage?

This depends. The effect of couples dating can be either a detrimental force or a strengthening agent. The lifestyle is like the wind to your relationship’s fire. If your fire is weak, swinging will be the wind that could easily extinguish y our flames. If your fire burns strong, this same wind can breathe more life into the flames, making your fire burn brighter. In other words, the strength of your bond, the trust in your mate and sturdy lines of communication make for the best swinging partnerships. Swinging can lead to enhanced communication skills and bonding, as many novel situations are encountered when venturing into an open marriage. You are both essentially embarking on a new adventure together. Everything you do, you do as a couple. It often brings a new appreciation for each other, thus enhancing your already strong bond. A relationship with underlying issues, however, will suffer. Any flaws beneath the surface will only be exacerbated by venturing into sexual relationships outside of your marriage. Fixing foundational flaws in imperative to ensure not just your success in swinging, but success in your own relationship.

Will I be jealous to see my partner with someone else?

If you are both entering swinging for the right reasons, and not just to cast your mate away in exchange for a fulfilling sex life, then jealousy is bound to occur. This is rather normal, and a twinge of jealousy usually signals a healthy attachment to your partner. Excessive jealousy signals insecurity and/or other underlying issues. We are all programmed by society to believe that monogamy is the correct norm. First, we must realize that society does not dictate our own minds. By shedding the accepted norm, this is the first step to defeating jealousy. We are also protective of “our” mates, and do not wish to lose them to another. This is also normal. However, overcoming this primal instinct can lead us to understanding that trust can go a long way. If we truly trust in our partner’s love for us, we know that at the end of the night, no matter how great the sex was, we go home with our partners. There will always be others that may perform differently in bed, or do something in a way that we have never done before. However, a night of new and exciting experiences should not eclipse the strength of the bond within the relationship. Communication, reassurance to our mates, and affirmation of their worth to us is the best way to combat jealousy.

My partner has suggested swinging to me. What is his/her motive for this?

There are many reasons a partner may suggest the lifestyle. The best way to answer this is to ask your partner this exact thing. Your instinct coupled with communication should do an adequate job of answering this question. If your mate is pressuring you to swing, despite how you feel about it, this should be a warning sign. If either one of you is adamant against swinging, this should be respected.

Do swingers expect or participate in emotional attachments?

Some do by choice, and some do not partake in attachments by choice. Then there are situations in which emotional attachments just happen. Normally, these kinds of attachments are avoided. The lifestyle is primarily about sexual freedom and the occasional friendship that arises. Couples who seek out emotional ties and relationships with others are treading closer to polyamory, a completely different lifestyle. Ideally, emotions should not enter the equation. Those with strong bonds within the relationship normally do not succumb to this. If you are worried about this, communicate with your mate.

How do we make the first connections in the lifestyle?

Signing up on a website is a great place to start. You can both explore the scene in private and get a general feeling of the types of people available for couples dating. Peruse the profiles and read a variety of them to see what feels right to you. Fill out your own profile after you have gotten a sense of how it is done, and post some pictures of you both. Once you have created a profile, don’t sit back and expect people to come to you. Be proactive and start contacting people to make the introductions. Consider attending a club or event to get a general feel for the atmosphere. Remember, this should be about having fun, so don’t get too serious.

For more information on couples dating and Palatine, IL swing club information, please join lifestylelounge.com

Carpe do’em (Seize the swingers)



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