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Swinging Bisexuals: The Lifestyle Basics for Open Relationships in Baghdad, Iraq and Your Local Area

By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott

Having trouble distinguishing between all of those ‘bi’ titles out there? Wondering how to conduct yourself as a bisexual individual or how to approach someone who is bisexual? Here are a few pointers to help elucidate a sometimes confusing quest.

Bi-Titles: How to Distinguish

These are open to some wiggle room and each individual perceives the classifications differently. Here is a general guide:

Bi-curious: Anyone who wishes to try a bi experience to see how they like it. To many, after experimenting a few times, continued enthusiastic play with those of the same sex should classify one as bisexual, period.

Bi-comfortable: This is probably the biggest gray area in the land of 'bi'. A bi comfortable individual is someone who can hang out with another bisexual/gay person and not have to worry about whether that person is going to pin them down for some lovin'. It's basically someone who isn't homophobic. Occasionally, you'll find those who label themselves bi-comfy when they allow the same sex to go down on them, but do not wish to return the favor or get into kiss and play mode. Women who aren’t necessarily into girl-girl play, but do so for the sake of a man’s fantasies, may go all the way with another woman. This does not make her bisexual, regardless of the sexual acts performed. She is merely comfortable enough to do it for the sake of pleasing her male partner.

Bi-sexual:
An individual who is attracted to the same gender sexually. It's not necessarily someone who has sex with the same gender, because sometimes, especially in long-time marriages, they have never opened up about their sexual nature to their spouse. Sexuality is a state of mind, not always a state of being.

How Common is Bisexuality in Swinging?

Couples with a woman who fits into one of the above categories are more the norm than the exception in the swinging lifestyle. You’ll find that a couple with a strictly straight woman is in the minority. If you are seeking girl-girl play, these couples are plentiful. Do keep in mind though, that many of these same couples, while open to girl-girl play, are also seeking to take it further than just exploration among the ladies. If it is strictly womanly action a couple seeks, it is wise to pursue single females or to ensure that a couple is a match. Couples who do not wish to play sexually beyond girl-girl are harder to find. So ask before setting up a date, or you will find yourself in a sticky situation.

Bisexual men in the lifestyle are another minority, but they can be found. Many websites have a search feature that allows members to seek out bisexual single men or couples with a bisexual male. This is simply a matter of taking the time to seek out the criteria you desire. When searching couples’ profiles, be sure to check the male’s stats. It will usually state sexual preference. If you are still unsure, check the text of the profile. Be very cautious when approaching a lifestyle male about his sexual status if bisexual tendencies are not listed anywhere in the profile. When the profile says that he is straight, it usually means just that. It is much more accepted to ask a straight woman whether she would ever entertain bisexual explorations. Asking a male this same question might get you into hot water.

If you are a bisexual single male or part of a couple, it is highly recommended that you state this in your profile. Again, there is a bit of a double standard when it comes to bi men vs. women. Non-disclosure of a male’s bisexuality can lead to issues in certain situations. When out on a lifestyle date, if a couple suddenly finds out that the male is bisexual, this can be very uncomfortable for the other man. Although the bisexual male probably won’t try to make a move on the straight male in a swapping situation, the straight male may not even want to partake in any sexual activity near a bisexual man. Whether or not this is a valid fear or a silly paranoia, it still exists.

Bottom Line: If you choose not to disclose your status in your profile, do not spring the surprise on a straight male down the line unless he confesses those curiosities himself.

The Double Standard

From extensive experience in the swinging lifestyle, a double standard has made itself very apparent. Bisexual men experience a more difficult time. There are swingers that are open and enthusiastic about bisexual women, but are not open-minded when it comes to bisexual men. As a bisexual male approaching the lifestyle, be prepared to grow a thick skin. Many lifestylers claim to be open-minded. While this may be true, you’ll come to find that some swingers are open-minded about their own type of sexual pursuits. They aren’t necessarily open-minded about your sexual pursuits. Do not take this personally, because it’s about them, not you. You will find many others who will embrace your sexuality. You will also find those who are just like you! There are perfect matches for everyone.

For more information on couples dating and Baghdad, Iraq swing club information, please join lifestylelounge.com

Carpe do’em

(Seize the Swinger)




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