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spotlight profile




Are you up for the Challenge???
   

CH4LL3NG3RS
SONOMA, CA


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Lifestyle Swinging Etiquette:  Giving & Receiving Rejection Online By Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott

www.lifestylelounge.com

There will always be the inevitable battle with rejection- both giving and receiving it.  Here are some tips to deal with getting turned down and for turning other down with dignity.

Allow Others to Preserve Self-Dignity When Dealing Out Rejection

If someone e-mails you and they just aren’t your type, there is a simple way to let them know that you aren’t interested.

Thanks for your interest in our profile! Although we do not  feel that we are a match, we wish you the best of luck in finding what you seek.  Happy swinging to you!

If you’re open to pursuing friendships with others with whom you don’t necessarily seek a physical attraction, here’s a similar response you can send:

Thanks for your interest in us! Although we don’t feel that we are a match, we'd still love to chat with you, since making friends is one of our main goals here.  If a friendship with benefits is what you're exclusively seeking, we certainly won't take it personally if you don't wish to pursue us any longer.  Either way, we hope all of your dreams and fantasies come true!

This not only gives them the chance to take the rejection with their dignity intact, but it also proves you to be a classy person by responding to their e-mail despite your disinterest, and doing so in a classy manner.  You do not need to provide reasons for your disinterest.  That is your business, not theirs.  If they write back asking for the reason, you can either choose to ignore it, or politely inform them that the reasons do not matter, only that you aren’t a match as you said in your initial correspondence.

When on the Receiving End, Don’t Take It Personally

You may also be at the receiving end of a rejection.  Do not take it personally. 

Everyone has their own standards and preferences. That is what makes a diverse lifestyle so wonderful. There is someone for everyone. Everyone has seen scenarios, though, where people's standards have been so high that they just couldn't find anyone they wanted. If this is what they are seeking, that's fine, but will make it very hard. You must remember that a lot of people are still trying to find that 'perfect' couple. You must also remember, though, that the 'perfect' couple may be seeking something even more 'perfect' than themselves. If people were to set their standards to something more attainable to them, they may have more luck. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be super picky. Don't be offended if someone tells you politely that you're not their type. Remember, you have your standards and they have theirs. Superficial sometimes? Yes. This is everyone's right, though. Just be persistent and open-minded, and you'll eventually find your perfect match.

Remember That People’s Preferences Can be Complicated

Over time, people’s preferences and experiences will evolve. Many times, you may notice that young people, or new people in the lifestyle go mainly by looks. There is nothing wrong with this at all, because this quest has a lot to do with attraction. Many are guilty or searching for Ken and Barbie at first. As one gains more experience in the lifestyle, one learns quickly that looks don't always equate to substance. You may desire more than just a one night stand, as this may not be your prerogative. You'll find that certain personalities become a turn-off to you, no matter how beautiful the person is, and certain personalities become an aphrodisiac, even if the initial attraction was not present. Many swingers prefer to find not only attraction, but personality, wit and humor. Impossible, of course not! All of us have met fantastic people with all of these qualities. No, it's not easy, but that's what patience teaches us. Most just aren't into the beautiful people who are ugly inside, and have found some of the most awesome people just by chatting and being friends first. This is only some people’s preference though, and you may evolve differently in the lifestyle.   Thus, preferences vary vastly from couple to couple, and if we try to analyze one’s criteria for friends and bedmates, we will take the focus away from having fun.

For more information on couples dating and Franklin Park, Illinois swing club information, please join www.lifestylelounge.com



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