How Do I Get My Wife Or Girlfriend Interested In Swinging? 5 Tips
Lifestyle Expert Robyn Scott
Many men who are interested in swinging seek advice for
introducing their wives into the lifestyle. While swinging is a wonderful
extracurricular activity, and the allure of multiple partners can be rather
tempting, you must tread with caution.
1) Do not push
This is a
treacherous method of entering the lifestyle, knowing that your partner may not
be up to it quite yet. Please do not push your partner into doing anything she
is not comfortable doing. This will only cause problems in your relationship. If
you wish to get her interested, sit down and talk to her about your
desires. Show her a lifestyle website or a website of a local swing
club. Explain to her that you can start on a couples dating site and see what
happens. If she shows interest, great, but take it very slowly. You can't expect
her to go from posting an ad to meeting a couple for full swap. Ask her if she
would like to go to a club just to watch sometime, and take small steps from
2) Take It Slowly!
As excited as
you may be about swinging, it is best to step back and ascertain the best way
for you both to enter the lifestyle comfortably. Your partner may require
extensive time and exposure to feel at ease with this idea. Remember that many
people hold misconceptions about the lifestyle and may need this time and
experience to help clear up misunderstandings.
If you both do consider taking it further than online exploration, try attending
a pressure-free event, such as a meet and greet, and make it clear that neither
one of you is expected to do anything at all. This way, your experience will
be much less intimidating and she will be more inclined to explore further.
If all goes well the first time then have her decide which event she
might like to try the next time.
3) Try to dispel your partner’s preconceptions
Your partner may
warm up to the lifestyle a bit more if she enjoys the parties and the company,
realizing that the stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle are often contrived.
Attending lifestyle events serves many purposes for first-timers, or those who
are otherwise timid of the initial experience. As a rule, she will be able to
see firsthand the wonderful people that are involved in this, and understand
that lifestylers are not depraved sexual predators, nor are they devoid of
morals or couth. Many who attend a lifestyle event may see that these are just
regular people letting loose. Lifestylers are a microcosm of society, and come
from all walks of life.
4) Do not expect your partner to anything with
anybody, especially the first time out.
If you both
opt to venture out to a function for the first time, don’t expect your mate to
do anything with anybody. Do not even allude to the possibility of such
activity. This experience in and of itself will be enough of a sensory
overload, without one’s partner expressing his desire for action. Simply allow
her to take it all in, and then discuss her reactions later. If this is done
the right way, she may want more. After all, this was the initial goal.
5) If your partner isn’t interested in couples
dating, show respect for that choice.
If your mate
expresses that she is just not interested, leave it at that. Tell her that if
she would like to entertain the possibility, she can bring it up when she's
ready. Do not push! It will only make her feel insecure and lead her to wonder
why you want to do this so badly. Women are delicate creatures sometimes, and
tend to analyze men's motives.
Guys, the best
way to make her feel secure in entering the lifestyle is to reassure her that
you love her, that she's beautiful, and that you are doing this not to find
something better than her, but to enhance your already wonderful love life. If
she doesn't hear this reassurance regularly, she will most likely assume that
she just isn't enough for you, and that is why you feel the desire to swing. It
is perfectly healthy for one or both of you to determine that your relationship
isn’t quite ready to handle swinging yet. Ladies, the same goes for you if you
are trying to involve your partner in this. Remember that even if the lifestyle
isn’t in your future, you still have each other, and that should be enough.
For more information on
couples dating and THE PLAINS, Virginia swing club information, please join