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   The four (?) components of attraction  

3/20/2014 10:26
Posted By:  - WALNUT CREEK, CA  
Date Posted: 3/20/2014 10:26

OK, so there are endless discussions on the forums about what people look for in others, "taking one for the team", "hot with not" and so on. But, overall, I think there is a general rhetorical overemphasis on "hot with not" meaning thin with fat, and it's assumed that Mr/Mrs. NoPix is that way because he/she is out of shape and thus "unattractive." Think of the tropes: "We take care of ourselves," "we take pride in our bodies," "we work out at least 137 times a week." This is all well and good, but I think it is important but incomplete. In my book there are (at least) four main components to attractiveness, not just physical condition:

1) Physical attractiveness. This includes physical fitness, but much more. It means your height to weight ratio, or your dress size, or what your bodily fat or muscle composition is. It also includes requirements for the presence or absence of body attributes such as large or small breasts, body or pubic hair, circumcision, elongated labia and of course penis size. I am pretty sure that this is, or at minimum is perceived to be, the number one criterion used to determine attractiveness.

2) Facial attractiveness. Are you considered pretty or handsome from the neck up? Can be very subjective, of course. Also includes attributes of the head such as hairstyle, teeth and facial hair (or the lack thereof).

3) Social attractiveness. Do you like the person? Can you carry on a good conversation with them? Do you have interests, beliefs or experiences in common that you enjoy discussing?

4) Sexual compatibility. Can you and they find a form of play where all are satisfied? This includes full or soft swap, anal play, the need for or a revulsion to same-sex play, same or separate room, compatibility with regards to kinks including (but not limited to) BDSM, water sports, role playing. etc. Obviously all forms of play don't have to happen in any given session, but if one party has a "must" that is a "never" for the other there are limits to how far things can go.

So, I want to know, below, does this make sense to you and how do you prioritize the components of attractiveness?

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