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   The Awakening ~ true lesbian memories   

12/26/2007 16:02
Posted By:  - DOWNERS GROVE, IL  
Date Posted: 12/26/2007 16:02
   *This is being posted by Deb*

This is taken from a short story I wrote based on my own experiences growing up as a teenager trying to come to terms with my sexuality....and my first female love which took place when I was 15...

That New Year's Eve night would be the beginning of an exploration into my own sexuality...and a love affair...which would last just over two years. At first Kay was shocked at what had taken place that night with her emotions seemingly swirling out of control..."Oh my God Gina! Oh my God!! I can't believe what just happened....I mean, what does that mean? Am I a fucking Lesbo now or what?!" She shouted at me....like she was blaming me...as she walked around the room holding her hand to her brow in dramatic pose. She looked fantastic. I tried to calm her....still feeling giddy and warm....the aroma of our passion all around like a cloak....I wanted to stay wrapped in it forever. I put my hand to my face....and inhaled deeply her scent which still lingered on my fingers.... causing my belly to dance that familiar dance and the wanting to return. I composed myself and turned to Kay. "Look don't worry about it babe....I'm sure this is something that all girls go through at some point with their friends....it doesn't mean that you're a lessie or anything.." I let that statement hang in the air and hoped I didn't sound too pathetic when I said it. Because at this point, I had not revealed to Kay what I suspected about myself to be true...I WAS...am...a lesbian. This was not some silly schoolgirl crush....this was REAL. But she didn't know that...yet. I loved her and she knew it....but don't all best friends love each other? I continued my reassurances..."I mean really, look at Jackie and Jayne at school...they're always walking around holding hands and have their arms around each other...and I saw them kissing in the loo one day!" I lied..."But Jayne's been steady with Mark for 3 months!" She looked at me with raised eyebrows "Really? They were kissing?!" And promptly burst out laughing. "Oh my!! Poor Mark!!" Still giggling she came over to me...and stroking my face looked into my eyes..."I'm sorry babe...it's just a bit...well....I just wasn't expecting it....from myself even...." She held me close and I sighed...."I know, me too....well...I kind of did...but didn't...Oh God! Now I'm not making any sense!...I think what I'm trying to say is that I just love being with you....I think you're wonderful Kay....and I just have these other feelings...which I'm still trying to understand..and I couldn't help myself babe...I just couldn't help myself....that's all." I hugged her tightly, suddenly feeling guilty. I had lied about Jackie and Jayne. Worse, I had not been totally honest with Kay about my feelings toward her...not completely. The words that should have come out of my mouth....the ones that were so carefully hidden in the closet of my mind....'I am gay.'..had deviously stayed there. Now was not the time. Selfishly, I pushed the thought further away. "C'mon, let's make some hot chocolate....I have those marshmallows you like so much..." I said, kissing her on the cheek....but before I let her go she turned her face toward me...her eyes soft and warm...."It was pretty amazing Gina...you were amazing...." Silence then as she pressed her body further into me, her hands holding my waist, my own seeking out her breast....and with a playful giggle, I tweaked her nipple.....she gasped, then laughed..."Oh Gina, you are so baaad!" And with a flirty chuckle, agreed, "I know!" Still giggling we made our way to the kitchen for our hot chocolate. I was on air. I felt deliriously happy. I was different inside and my heart was bursting with my new found joy. How long would it last I wondered? I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to think about consequence, or the future. I just wanted to live...and to love...to love my Kay.

Despite her initial worries about our relationship, Kay was not to show them again. At least, not for two years...for two years, we grew ever closer, sharing everything and loving each other. Our secret love affair was exciting, thrilling...forbidden. We would make love with beautiful tenderness one day...taking time to caress, explore.....I wanted to feel, smell and touch every inch of her....the nape of her neck, the small of her back, her shoulders, her knees....her thighs....that trembled uncontrollably....to run my tongue around her body like a cat, my prey splayed out before me....her beautiful mound and soft blonde hair rising up, beckoning me...teasing me with its erotic splendor....glistening juices that tasted like sweet pear.....that would taste bitter sweet when she came....and I would gulp them IN to me... a journey into female oblivion that was so intense at times I had to fight back tears.

Sometimes I would see her at school in passing and want her. Just want her right there and then. I would look at her in that way and she would know. I would nod at her, then at the bathroom in the hallway. She would look at me in a pretend shocked manner and delightfully blush. Persistent, I would smile and nod toward the bathroom again....as I walked toward it. She would follow. Once in the cubicle a sort of madness overcame me. I had her up against the wall and she would be panting and trying not to make a noise whilst I feverishly and urgently stuck my hand up her skirt and pulled her panties to the side gaining wonderful entry....I spread her legs with my knee and with one hand cupping her round buttocks, the other I teasingly opened her luscious lips, my fingers toying with her clit and her hole. She almost buckled underneath me. I thrust myself deep inside and she yelped. "Ssshhhhh" I said. My own breath coming in quick spurts, I fucked her furiously...with each thrust of my fingers she opened further....and suddenly two became four fingers..her juices dribbling down my hand....my own cunt on fire....she was closing now....my fingers getting sucked in to her pleasure....her walls tightening...it was difficult to stay in...I pushed deeper, faster....harder....and she clamped down on me further as I realized the climax of her pleasure building.....I tried not to come....I was so fucking close but wanted more than myself to feel her....like an animal I continued...oblivious to all around me.....and with shaking legs...she burst onto me....crying out "Oh GOD!!!" As I felt those deep, deep contractions...almost pushing my fingers out. I pushed them in and let them stay there awhile....feeling her sex pulsate gloriously against me. I put my hand over her mouth to stifle her screams...until finally she was silent...

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