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Forum Category: Jokes, Cartoons and Other Fun Stuff
 Originator Date Posted 
   Don't Fart in Bed!  

12/17/2009 12:27
Posted By:  - CALABASAS, CA  
Date Posted: 12/17/2009 12:27
   Don't Fart in Bed

If this story doesn't make
you cry for laughing so
hard, let me know and
I'll pray for you.

This is a story about a
couple who had been
happily married for years.
The only friction in
their marriage was the
husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when
he awoke.

The noise would wake his
wife and the smell would
make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would
plead with him to stop
ripping them off because
it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't
stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She
told him to see a doctor;
was concerned that
one day he would blow his
guts out.

The years went by and he
continued to blast them

Then one Thanksgiving
morning as she was
preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she
looked at the bowl where
she h ad put the turkey
innards and neck, gizzard,
liver and all the spare
parts and a malicious
thought came to her.

She took the bowl and
went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back
the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband
of his underpants and

emptied the bowl of turkey
guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard
her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which

was followed by a blood
curdling scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps
as he ran into the

The wife could hardly
control herself as she
rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her

After years of torture
she reckoned she had got
him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes
later, her husband came
downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants
with a look of horror on

his face. She bit her Lip
as she asked him what was
the matter.

He said, 'Honey, you were
right. 'All these years

you have warned me and I
didn't listen to
you.''What do you mean'
asked his wife.

'Well, you always told me
that one day I would end
up farting my guts out,
and today it finally

But by the grace of God,
some Vaseline, and two
fingers, I think I got
most of them back in.'

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