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Forum Category: Jokes, Cartoons and Other Fun Stuff
 Originator Date Posted 
   Sign of the times comedy  

8/31/2011 23:01
Posted By:  - ARVADA, CO  
Date Posted: 8/31/2011 23:01

Times are tough in the States:

~ I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

~ Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

~ CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

~ Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

~ A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

~ I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

~ If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

~ McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

~ Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

~ Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

~ My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

~ A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

~ A picture is now only worth 500 words.

~ When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

~ The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

~ Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!  The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

~ I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!

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