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Forum Category: Jokes, Cartoons and Other Fun Stuff
 Originator Date Posted 
   Things you will never hear.........  

9/10/2011 06:08
Posted By:  - COTTAGE GROVE, MN  
Date Posted: 9/10/2011 06:08
Things You Will Never Hear a Woman Say

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. Honey, the new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
4. Bar food again! Kick ass.
5. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
6. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
7. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.
8. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.
9. You are so much smarter than my father.
10. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.
11. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
12. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
13. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
14. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
15. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.
16. Look! My ass is fatter than yours!
17. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

Things You Will Never Hear a Man Say

1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother-f***er.
2. No I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.
3. Her boobs are just too big.
4. Sometimes I just want to be held.
5. That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.
6. Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.
7. We haven't been to the mall for ages; let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
8 Honey, I'm going to the store, do you need more tampons?
9. I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
10. I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
11 Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.
12. I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed? Maybe I should tell her.

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