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 Originator Date Posted 
   Safe Sex With Animals  

2/19/2012 20:53
Posted By:  - STAMFORD, CT  
Date Posted: 2/19/2012 20:53
   If you're searching for a reason not to have sex with animals, add this to the list: It could give you penis cancer, according to a new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The authors found that men who have had sex with animals were twice as likely to develop penile cancer as those who stick with their own kind.

A member of a pro-zoophilia group told The Huffington Post by email that the results of the study should prompt people to take precautions, like using a condom, when having sex with animals. She added that it was unlikely to deter diehard zoophiles. "They might become more cautious," she said, "but they wouldn't change their nature."

So with that said …

As a lawyer, I would be remiss in not advising you as to your rights and obligations next time you find yourself feeling a little extra frisky on the farm.   After all, how safe is safe sex if you are always getting in trouble with the law? 

So here's what you need to know:

In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. 

My advice:  Take the play indoors.  Plenty of clean hay in the stable.

In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.

My advice:  Common sense.  Remember to get a permit.  Wasn't that easy?

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets

My advice:  Skip Alaska.  It’s cold up there.  Hard to keep a stiff one in the snow.  The moose are much sexier in Vermont.

In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.

My advice:  If you want to see two pigs having sex meander on back to the public play room.  I'm sure you'll see a few.

In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

My advice:  Call now for your free travel guide and remember to book early! 

-- Mr. Blue, Esq.

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