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Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
  
  Topic
 Originator Date Posted 
   Can this marriage be saved (from monogamy)?  

LONG BEACH, CA
10/7/2012 17:15
Posted By:  - LONG BEACH, CA  
 
Date Posted: 10/7/2012 17:15
                                                                                                                                                                           errWe went to our 5th swing event last night, a club takeover in Huntington Beach and we came away disappointed. The people were beautiful, the place was nice, but for the third event in a row, we left after an hour having made no connections. There are a few bits of context that might explain why this is:




  • We're new.  We've been at this for a few months, but we still aren't acculturated to the norms and traditions of swingerdom. We're really concerned with not making faux pas.

  • We don't drink.  We have no problem being around people who do, but for reasons that take a while to explain, neither one of us can drink or use drugs. Once again, though, we don't judge anyone who can.

  • We've never really been nightclub people. By this, I don't mean that we haven't had a great time at clubs when we go with people we know, but it's always been as part of a larger group.


  • This is the big one: we're both introverts, in the Meyers-Briggs sense. We're not shy or arrogant; it's just exhausting to make small talk in a nightclub with loud music and without an obvious topic of conversation. We both like people, are interested in what others have to say, we just find it difficult to just walk up to strangers to say "hello, we're Mr and Ms. Libid" without feeling like complete and utter idiots. We know it's the way it's done, but we both really discouraged that having been to 5 events, we've managed to talk with 4 couples (granted, some of these folks were smoking hot and we hope to meet up with them again) and in all but one case, they came over to say hello to us.


Our idea behind going to parties was that it is a lower-risk, higher-volume way of meeting people (and more reliable than online pics) than meeting people online. So far, this doesn't seem to be working out.


Last thought: most people in the lifestyle seem to be exhibitionists or, at the least, very high in extroversion. Are these personality traits necessary for swinging success? We love to talk to people 2 on 2, and even enjoy parties where you can chat with lots of people without the loud (what passes these days for) music. Any input would be appreciated; we really want to be having sexy fun but we seemed to be failing swinging at a much earlier stage in the game. Can anyone offer any advice to help get us in the game?



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