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Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
 Originator Date Posted 
   Most Important Thing About the Lifestyle: Guide to Newbies  

1/12/2013 20:24
Posted By:  - MINNEAPOLIS, MN  
Date Posted: 1/12/2013 20:24
   In the PUCKERUP tradition of incessant public service, today
we provide the newcomers with a definitive guide of what to
expect when you’re expecting to get laid
the do’s and don’ts
for couples, unicorns and yes, even the dreaded single males.(For those of you tuning out because you are
so vehemently opposed to the SM, please remember that nearly half of you were
born single males. Besides, they need wisdom that is PUCKER every bit as much
as you do, and thankfully, there’s enough of **it to spread).


At the outset, let me say, you’re

And even though it might at first seem that PUCKER having spoken there is little left to add, please remember that you're helping OTHERS, so surely you can contribute to this thread before TFJ deems the LL Guide for Newbies an irrelevant General Lifestyle Discussion Topic and buries it into oblivion.

All these pearls have been carefully garnered and distilled
reading Forum for over a decade. This wisdom
is not PUCKER per se; this is the coLLective wisdom of all those who have cum
before you. Today we start with couples.
We’ll (probably) get to the dreaded single males later. But today we help



If there is one most important thing in the Lifestyle, it’s
appearances. Your physical appearance is key. The physical attraction must be
there.For all parties. Nobody takes one
for the team. There are no teams. It’s
every man for himself.
If there is one single most important thing in the Lifestyle,
it’s physical fitness. You should be fit, but not overly so, not like you are
in the gym every day. You should be in the gym every day.You shouldn’t live in the gym, or just hang
out, but the consensus is 3-4 hours a day is ideal.

If there is a single most important body feature in the
Lifestyle, it’s the washboard abs. And defined shoulders. You should have nice
legs. And eyes. The eyebrows should be plucked and shaved. But more on the folliculars
in genital
later. Boobs should
be large, but not too large. And perky. And shaved. But more on the follicles
later. Women’s boobs are also
important.Those should be extremely
large except when playing with couples who prefer smaller boobs. At those times
the boobs on the female should be small.It is important for you to understand that.

If there is one single thing that everybody agrees on, it’s
that the penis should be circumcised, and its size does not matter. It should
be longer than 8 inches, but the length is not important. It’s the girth that
matters. The girth of the penis doesn’t matter, unless you’re going to be
engaging in anal sex. If you are engaging in anal sex, the girth of the penis
does not matter. You should not be
engaging in anal sex. You should be engaging in anal sex if that is what your
partner prefers. You should not be fixated on anal sex.You should not be engaging in anal sex unless
you have communicated with your partner.


Communication is key. If there is a single most important thing in
the Lifestyle, it’s communication. You should practice communication, first and
foremost. You should practice communication with your partner daily. You should
practice communication with other couples. You should be aware of other people’s comfort
and boundaries. The best way to figure
out their comfort and boundaries is through communication.

If there is a single best way to communicate with all
couples it’s by sending them an email. Many couples do not read or respond to
emails and delete them without reading. You should not take that personally. It’s
just them being polite. They are swamped with too many emails. They are not
here to communicate. They are in the Lifestyle to have sex and not to
correspond with you. They are not in the Lifestyle 24/7; their family comes
first. They are not here for sex. They are here to have fun and not write
emails. If they were to respond to every email people wrote them, they would
have to write emails.

If there is a single best way to communicate with all
couples, it’s to open up your private photos to them.Everybody loves pictures. You should have
lots of nudes of both him and her, showing faces, bodies and close up of
genitals. More on how your pictures should look later. But you should not open
up any penis shots. Penis shots are very important because appearances matter
and the Missus of the other couple wants to know what she is getting herself
into.Nude photos are not welcome
altogether. Nude photos are important
because people want to know what you look like when it gets time to get down
and dirty.Nobody wants to open up an
email and be greeted with a penis. Opening up your privates should not be your
initial method of reaching out to other couples, unless you include something
very clever and witty and funny and revealing about your personality. Nobody
cares about your personality. This site is not about personality.Unless you post in the Forum.

If there is a single best way to communicate with all
couples, it is to post an open-ended question in the Forum, no matter how dumb
or simple it might seem.

There are no dumb questions.

Do not post dumb questions in the Forum.

Do not post dumb questions in the Forum unless you have
searched for others who have posted a similar question in the Forum in the
preceding dozen years. Chances are, your dumb question has already been posted.
More on the Forum Posting Netiquette later.

If there is a single best way to communicate with all
couples, it’s to wishlist them. When wishlisting other members it is important
to remember several key rules.

Rules do not matter because people break them all the
time.Every couple sets their own rules
to break them later. It is important for you to respect those rules. It is
important to understand that the rules are artificial limits and most likely do
not pertain to you. It is important to
respect other people’s fake guidelines.


Shaving is important.

If there is one most important thing in the Lifestyle, it’s shaving.
Your private area should be cleanly shaved.You should not shave your private areas. Your should wax them. Waxing
private areas is a mistake. The best way for everyone to go is Laser Hair
Removal. The private areas are best lasered off. Lasering does not work for
blonde, fair skinned people.Lasering
does not work for blonde, fair skinned people until they say that it worked for
them. Lasering takes many sessions, but the benefit is that the hair never
grows back. Even after repeated lasering sessions, the hair will eventually
grow back and will have to be re-lasered.Lasered hair that grows back can also be shaved or waxed, depending on
your preference.

Women should not shave their private area completely because
many people prefer a landing strip. The landing strip should be shaved into a
simple geometric shape and kept neat and free of parasites. It is important not
to shave any religious or political statements into the landing strip. Sports
and team slogans are OK, but unless you’re shaving in “Packers Suck”, nobody is
going to care. People will care about what you shave in your pubes because of
the deep athletic and collegiate rivalries.

The ladies should not shave their privates because the bush
is definitely making a comeback.

The bush is definitely NOT making a come back

The bushes definitely fucked up this country.

Male bushes are not tolerated. Men should trim their bushes
and shave their balls. The balls can be waxed off completely. It is important
for the men to shave, and not just the genitals.

Men should shave their chests. Nobody likes hairy chests on
men. Many women like men with hairy chests. Hairy chests should not be too
hairy. Shaved chests are prickly and all women hate that. Do not shave your

Same goes for waxing.

Anal bleaching is also very important, but let’s not get
fixated on anal bleaching.

Closing Notes:

There is nothing left to say, really, save for some genital points. There is a lot more to say, but this entry has outgrown any reasonable boundary of decency and taste. Because this blog is the epitome of brevity and wisdom, it must remain terse.

If there is one most important thing in the Lifestyle that everybody agrees on, it's that men should not wear socks.

If there is one most important thing in the Lifestyle, that everybody agrees on, it’s that bad breath is a huge turn off.

If there is one most important thing in the Lifestyle, that everybody agrees on, it's that bad breath is a sign of a healthy low carb diet and great physical appearance. And that is really the key to the Lifestyle. Other than communication.

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