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Are you seeking Minneapolis, Minnesota swingers personal ads?
Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
 Originator Date Posted 
   Per request... My Swinger 10 Commandments   

2/7/2013 21:29
Posted By:  - MINNEAPOLIS, MN  
Date Posted: 2/7/2013 21:29
( in no particular order)
10) if you have a family, your priority is them, not your lifestyle. Don't leave your children to babysitters constantly so you can swing. Nor should you bring swinging home to a house with children present. Seriously, I do have to say that.
9) If you don't trust the motherfucker, then use your common sense and MOVE ON. I say this from my own dumbass experience. Ladies, quit saying "but he (fill in the blank)" . Yeah, if he was Mr. Wonderful, then you wouldn't be so insecure with him here in this LS, would you?
8) If it smells funny, tastes funny, or has strange marks, bumps or lesions, keep your orifices away from it. Fuck being polite. Herpes hasn't consulted with MRS. MANNERS. Nor should you need to.
7) If you're swinging, and you don't like what's going on, SPEAK THE FUCK UP. Jeez. Garner some respect and stand your ground.
6) If you're THAT paranoid of catching an STD, then quit asking if oral is okay. Your mouth and tongue are contacting mucus membranes that are statistically most likely to carry a disease. Skip the oral, don a condom and realize that no matter what, if you are having sex, you ARE at risk.
5) ladies, you know I love you because I'm bisexual AND I am part of your particular species. This being sad, keep your naughty parts clean and spot check yourself thought the night. Too many people write me awkward advice questions because we are all not doing our part for the cause. Band together and fight coochie stickies. MEN- you know damn well that I'd your balls smells like Cornnuts, that this is also a party foul.
4) Seriously ya'll- single females are obviously named unicorns for a reason, and single men might just be the future individuals that comprise the zombies of the apocalypse. But sometimes unicorns can prance along, crush your head and leave you for dead. And sometimes, zombies can take out that annoying friend that you tripped while you were both running away from them. Quit stereotyping and just decide for yourself who is really going to claim your brains.
3) professionals, we know that you love to dress up and role play, but if I see my old haggard high school math teacher at a swinger's convention dressed in nothing but her hypotenuse, I just may hurl. Flatter your form, and you will form the flattery you garner.
2) ASK before you engage the ass. Trust me.

1) Communicate. In all seriousness, if there was open communication between couples, I'd be out of a job.

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