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Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
  
  Topic
 Originator Date Posted 
   Writing Introductory Emails and the Epic Fails!  

BROCKPORT, NY
11/19/2013 21:02
Posted By:  - BROCKPORT, NY  
 
Date Posted: 11/19/2013 21:02
  

I am way past due on the annual pointers and list for Introductory e-mails. I do believe, though this is a long read, that this shall go in the forums as well. All comments are simply compiled for the annual list as a benefit to the LL and the bLLogville community!  

 

 

It is that time of year to publish my annual Introductory e-mails 101 for the betterment of getting you laid! *This is NOT directed at SM's! This is for everybody!!!* (Based or paraphrased on actual emails, not direct quotes) :-) 

 

 

1. Never refer to a woman as an "older woman" - you might as well write, "Yes, your ass looks fat in those jeans!" 

 

 

2. Never send an e-mail simply stating your name and cock size. These are typically an automatic delete, and does this line every work? Do not send this an email asking us, "You want this cock don't you?" with your cock pic that was not requested. Gentlemen, no matter how big your cock is, for those of us who have been around a while, we have probably seen bigger. I am sorry if the best you have to offer of yourself is your cock size. 

 

 

3. Do not send an e-mail with no title and nothing in the body of the e-mail. Also, actually READ the profile before sending the e-mail, as you might overlook something important. Yes, by all means perv the pics, but read what we have written. *Helpful hint - refer to something written in the profile to acknowledge you read it.* Mention a group someone is in (but not "I see you are a member of Blowjob Goddesses.") 

 

 

4. Hall passes - better be willing to prove you have one! On the converse, please do not beg someone to become friends with your wife if the person is not interested in that, and then indicate you really do have a hall pass. You obviously do not unless your wife gives approval. Don't cheat!

 

 

5. If you are going to open your white list, at least send an e-mail to go with it, or a note in the white list. If you are proud of your body, that is great. Sometimes we need a little more than just a pretty body.

 

 

6. Do not jump right into the detailed fantasy of what you want to do to us, that is over a page long and single spaced. I doubt you do that to people you meet in vanilla land! Conversely, we can usually spot a standard introductory e-mail that is a cut/paste.

 

 

7. If you have been politely declined, please do not then open your white list - seeing you more naked is not going to change anything. Do not beg or plead for reconsideration (i.e. - but I'm rich, etc.) Remember, NO MEANS NO! We are at least giving you the courtesy of a response so just accept that and move on - odds are it is nothing personal about you. If you continue to persist after repeatedly being told or having e-mails denied, you are a stalker and you will be blocked and admin will be notified. Run quickly and seek mental health treatment!!! 

 

 

8. Have face pics posted or send them with the e-mail/wishlist! Not ones 10-20 feet away with hats and sunglasses on! You see our pics, we want to see yours! 

 

 

9. If you are e-mailing a couple, even if only interested in one half of the couple, always address the e-mail to both parties. It is just good manners. Read their profile and if they specifically say they ONLY play with other couples or do not play separately, do not waste your time. If they are looking for an SF or SM, they will have it on their profile. 

 

 

10. We can never overstate enough be the person in your picks. For example, do not e-mail as a white man only to change your pic later to that of a black man (or vice versa.) 

11. When emailing a SINGLE, do not write "I am/We are really hoping to meet you both--you seem like a cool couple!!" 

 

 

EPIC FAILS: 

 

 

1. Well how about some muskrat love? Lets lick each other to death? Give me a shot.

 

 

2. I never had a red head give me head before.

 

 

3. Hey there you cute little biscuit!

 

 

4. I loves older woman likes you. The thicker the better.

 

 

5. I am a hot lating hun sud. I want to fuck you.

 

 

6. i would like to see a nude pic. This was met with the following, "I would like to win the lottery and not have to work but we don't get everything we want."

 

 

7. Do not tell an older woman that "she can teach me so much". Sorry, school's out sonny, come back when you can teach ME something.

 

 

8. i wanna ram that asss so hard baby" 

 

 

9. We may not always be grammar snobs, but make an effort on spelling: ho ar you beautiful

 

 

10. I have a penis! – (Only one exception for this one!) ;-)

 

 

11. wanna play this morning? (Remember, this was an INTRODUCTORY e-mail)

 

 

12. WELL THEN YOUNEED TO GET BACK TO ME SO AS I CAN TAKE YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL AN DO THE THNAINGS WE BOTH LIKE!!!

 

 

13. helping become the man you’d prodly like to fuck over and over again knowing it will always be exactly what you’re looking for.

 

 

14. I need to put my long wet tongue in-between your thighs and make you scream like Monica Lewinsky. (Personally, I never heard anywhere that she was a screamer. I am guessing she only screamed when he put the lit end of the cigar in her twat???)

 

 

15. I love the pink knee high boots. Jury is still out on this one. Overall not a recommended introductory e-mail, but I do know one person who fell for it. ;-)

 

 

16. i would looove to dominate u. make u cum sooo hard. choke u, force my cock down ur throat, slap u, make u lick my ass and have the greatest time ever

 

 

17. I dont do Emails but do you lik to give head?

 

 

18. u r hot wanna fuck

 

 

19. i would love the chance to play with her and for hours at that.Can i be bless with the chance please. (Sure the man will send her right over for you!)

 

 

20. My wife thinks your hot. Come over and fuck her. I will be in the closet

 

 

21. Hey Im free this afternoon, send your wife over so I can fuck her.

 

 

22. It's my birthday, send your wife over to sit on my face.

 

 

23. I'd like to cum in between you cheeks....slide my big fat cock in between and have my gurlfriend lick me while I slide back and forth.  House that for a hot dog?

 

 

24. I saw your ad.. you look interesting.. how much do you think it would be?

 

 

25. I will simply say this to a special guy somewhere - let me know if you grow those two extra cocks so you can fill me up all at once, please feel free to email again! 

 

 

Irish :-)

 

 




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