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Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
  
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   I'm a little nervous...  

MANDEVILLE, LA
5/23/2014 21:07
Posted By:  - MANDEVILLE, LA  
 
Date Posted: 5/23/2014 21:07
   Hi. We are new here, just having recently joined the site. We haven't had a chance to put up any photos yet.



I'm hoping to get a little advice - and I guess some background would be helpful.



We've been married 3 years, both having been married before. There is a swinging club near us and we went one night, mainly because we wanted to watched and be watched, we didn't want to swap partners. We had both been before - I had been with an old friend when I asked him to take me out of curiosity, and he had been with his ex wife. He said she got really drunk and passed out before anything happened. A few months later he told me the truth about his past - he and the ex had been full into swinging for 4 years (yes I was upset that he had lied to me and it took a while for me to trust him again) He said that he had cheated on her 8 months after they were married, and their way of "dealing" with it was to try swinging. He has admitted that he never really "loved" her and doesn't think she loved him. At some point they agreed to stop the swinging, but after that he caught her in bed with one of his friends, and that was the end of the marriage. He swears he never went to another club or swung after the divorce. He had a 2 year relationship with a woman. After her, he dated a few other women, but never anything serious, but he never "double dipped", always stayed with one woman at a time.



Needless to say I wanted nothing to do with the whole swing thing after his revelation - oddly I felt betrayed. I know it took a lot of curious for him to tell me all of his past, but at the time I was more mad than anything else. Fast forward 2 years later and I've gained my trust back - he has done nothing to make me suspicious of him, or think he might do something; he has done nothing to make me feel unloved or unwanted by him.



So I have always had bi sexual fantasies, just something I've always had, but not sure if I could ever really do it. I opened up to him about it a few weeks ago and we talked about it. I voiced my concern that I didn't want anything like he had with his ex wife, and he said that he is not that same person. We are a team, and if I have a fantasy he will do whatever it is to help it come true. I outright said I had no intention of him being with another woman or me with another man and he said he has no interest in that either. The one time we did go to that club, it was very hot to just know we were being watched, and he didn't seem interested in engaging with other people.



Ok, so that's the background, and how we got to where we are now. But I'm a little nervous about things. I just don't know what to expect and I'd hate for disaster to strike because I brought this whole idea up.



Am I just being stupid? Can someone who was full into swinging with one person, truly be happy not swinging with another? Does the emotional attachment have anything to do with it?



Obviously I don't think we'll be jumping into "the pool" any time real soon, we're just kind of looking around right now, and mainly for me I'd like to hear how other people deal with their fears.



Thanks for reading and for any advice and/or suggestions.



Ellie



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