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Forum Category: General Lifestyle Discussion Topics
 Originator Date Posted 
   For The Single Males....From A Single Male  

7/17/2003 07:28
Date Posted: 7/17/2003 07:28
   Ok, I have thought about this for a very long time. This is posted for the single males on the site but all comments are welcome as always. (Please excuse any spelling or grammer errors. It is way too early in the morning for me to be up today.)

Ok, guys, I tried for a very long time to keep defending the good single males out there on this site. There are a few bad apples here on the site and I know there are a bunch of bad apples not on this site. Dispite their efforts, I still have made some great and close friendships with people from this site. Both couples and singles. Most of my couple friends are not even interested in single men. But they welcome me into their homes for a party or just to drink a few beers one on one. They know I am a "safe" single male and that I would never betray their friendship. I have even been called to go out on dates with them when they have a single female going with them. I find it a great honor bestowed upon me. It means that I am an accepted part of the lifestyle. I would not trade friendships like that for all the sex in the world.

Every few months, we have cycles of single male bashing. Everytime, I try to jump in and let everyone know that not all single males are bad. Well, just like everyone else on the site, I am tired of the topic. I believe in the time I have been here, there have been only two topics that come up as often. Single Males and SEX. Single males asking "WHY NOT ME!!!" I do not mean to be disrespectful here, but if you have to ask that question, then you do not have any idea of your place in the lifestyle. Beyond that, you do not understand the main reason to be part of the lifesytle. Yes, some couples and singles use this as a sex dating site, but I will go out on a limb here and say that for must of us here, at least the people that I have met, it is about developing good friendships that might, let me repeat that, MIGHT lead to the bedroom.

Now everyone looks for booty calls. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is totally acceptible here in the lifestyle. But for single men, you have certain unwritten rules that you must follow or you subject yourselves to constant bashing. Here is the kicker, you deserve what you get if you do not abide by those rules. Here is a short list that I have discovered over my 11 years in the lifestyle.


I know there are more rules, but here on the forum, these are the biggest that I can think of this early in the morning. Yeah, I know it is 10 am, but I work nights and usually do not see daylight until noon. lol I could write a book on all the do's and dont's for the single male in the lifestyle. Believe me when I tell you that my road to acceptance in the lifestyle has been a long and rough journey. It is not easy. Especially with so many bad apples out there making more road blocks for me. Also, because I am not a GREEK GOD, I have to work harder at being accepted. I have to rely on my pesonality and not my looks. But I have been accepted. Not by all couples. There will always be those couples that have had a few bad experienced and think that all single males are bad. There are also those couples that think that the single male has no place here. That issue is never going to go away and all you can do is swallow hard, and leave that couple alone. But I can tell you this, I have never been kicked out of a party where couples are present and I have never had a couple here on the site refuse to drink with me. Even the one's that do not play with single men.

Here is the answer to your question on why couples do not include single men. ARE YOU READY!!! Yes, there are ton's of reasons, but the ONLY REASON you need to worry about is that THEY DO NOT PLAY WITH SINGLE MEN. They do not owe you an explaination and there is nothing that you can say convince anyone to play with you. It is very rude for you to think that every couple and every single lady should play with you because you claim to be a swinger. In my opinion, until you learn what the lifestlye is all about, you are just a player. For me, being considered a swinger by my friends here on the site, both couples and singles, is a badge of honor for me. We can get all the sex we want if you go to any bar in town, buy a few drinks, and then ask the lady to go home with us. This is not the place for us single males to look for bootie calls. This place is for the single males to get to know like minded people who are open about sexual ideas. Not for you to get your bootie calls. How do I know this, because I have been hammered over and over again when I first started the lifestyle for thinking that way.

I can go on and on about this but I will save it for my book. LOL Serioulsy though, one couple said it perfectly but I am sorry for not remembering who said it. They stated that if you are a minority on a site like this, why would you try to ask people why they do not want to be with you or ask them what is wrong with you? It is errogant of you to think it is about you. It is'nt. It is about their choice as a couple. And again, THEY DO NOT OWE YOU AND EXPLAINATION.

Let me state that I am not pointing out anyone particular. If you feel offended, I am not going to apologize for that. This view point is mine only, but it has come from over 11 years of experience in the lifestyle as a single male. I do not have all the answeres, but I have made ALL the mistakes along my journey. I do feel that I 'arrived' a few years ago. How do I know that, because I have had many couples tell me, "You are a swinger and you are one of the only single males we have ever met that actually GETS what the lifestyle is about. I cannot tell you how to do it, but as I have stated here, I can warn you as to what not to do as a sinlge male. There are unwritten rules that you MUST live by here. If you do not live by them, then you will never be accepted no matter how sexy or brilliant you are.

Harley001(I would like to personally thank all of my friends in the lifestyle. You are all great and I love you all. Thanks for accepting me for who I am.)

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