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Question: Seeking a partner in crime for the LS

Dear Lounge Advice, I am a former military man who came upon the lifestyle after many failures in women I have dated. I now know what I want out of a partner which is to share everything. I have been swinging for 2 years and have fun but, I think I am missing something like a partner in crime so to speak. Finding one has been hard though. I have turned to my local surroundings and now more recently this site. Any advice for achieving this goal of mine?



Dear (Anonymous),

This depends on your priorities. Do you wish to have a loving woman who can fulfill you?
Or, do you desire more to have a woman who will swing with you?

If the former is your goal, take the lifestyle out of the equation for now. I'm sure you're thinking that it's not an option. That's fine. But, finding a woman who will be a wonderful partner AND open to the lifestyle is a rarity. If you're willing to be patient, you may be able to attain this. It will take a lot of perserverance on your part. You will need to realize that your goal will take a lot of work. You will also have to expand your search network. Just being on one or two sites will not be sufficient. Above all, if you are looking for a woman that will respect you and truly WANT to share this lifestyle with you, you will have to make sure that you do not come across as only wanting her as a ticket into more sex with other couples.
Look for now just to befriend a woman. Do not focus on the lifestyle aspect right off the bat, even if she is on a swingers' site. Women will want to know that you are interested in them, and not just interested in what they can do for your swinging pursuits.
I hope this makes sense.
Also, one final note. Think about the previous relationship failures of which you speak. Pinpoint the root cause of these failures, whether it was the fault of one of you or both. Use these mistakes as learning tools as you go forth.

I feel like I should say 'live long and prosper' at this point.

Good luck
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