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Question: He was having fun, but I wasn't.

Dear Lounge Advice,

This is alittle embarassing, but last weekend we were playing with another couple, and honestly I was not having a good time at all. I looked over to my husband who seemed to be having fun.

How do you handle a situation like that? Should I say something, or should I just let my husband enjoy himself?



Dear (Anonymous),

There is nothing that is more important in the Lifestyle than communication.... and no more difficult and important time to think about each other than in the "heat of the moment". Don't ever do something you don't want to do.

We have a non-verbal way of dealing with these situations... we call it "the pinch" (a really hard twisting pinch on the arm or leg)

Each of us knows that no matter what we are doing... or how we are feeling... if the other person reaches over and gives you "the pinch".. it's a signal that they are not having fun. At that time we stop what we are doing and we reach for each other.

No one usually notices... but if someone ever says anything... our response is... "sorry I just wanted to be with him/her right then" What can anyone say to that???

We have found that if you put your own feelings aside... it will only build resentment inside of you. And this is all supposed to be about fun.

There is no one else in the Lifestyle that matter other than you and your spouse. This is all about you !!!
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