Fallacy is, that a four way connection is the true unicorn in the lifestyle!

Four way connections for sex are easy to find, unless you get in your own way. Great friendships that last years or decades are harder to find for sure. Sex is easy, friendship is hard...so we start with the sex and see if friendships develop. I honestly think people like to say four way connections are hard to find to deal with their own lack of success, unfortunately that also opens the door for it to become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you say over and over that it is hard, then you embrace failure and since we create our own experience...one then creates failure. That is if your goal is to play with others...which is the whole point of swinging.

I would also say, just because a couple or person is looking for reasons to play and excited to play with a wide range of people does not mean it is all about just the conquest and move on. We have playmates that we have enjoyed playtime with for many years, a girlfriend and playmate of over a decade and even one couple that we have been playing with for 20 years. People are not binary, it is not this or that but it can be this and that. In this same way, one night we can enjoy a simple four way full swap playtime and a couple nights later a kinky, BDSM scene. To take and old line of mine here...some nights chicken, some nights steak. This is why other than full swap expected, we try to be chameleons with others as we can enjoy a wide range of fun...this isn't a fantasy for us, this is an actual lifestyle.

Richard