Dear Lounge Advice, Hope you can help us with a definition. We have been in the Lifestyle for just over a year now and still finding out what works for us. We are still confused by the definition of "Soft Swap" - do you have a definition? We have had couples tell us it is anything from touching only to everything, including mutual oral, excluding actual intercourse. Can you please help clear this up? Thanks Sincerely, (Anonymous)

Dear (Anonymous), Our definition and the one that we have found to be the most widely accepted is that "soft swap" is "anything" except for actual intercourse. You bring up a good point however... since there are differences in opinion you may find it helpful to clarify exactly what another couple means when they say they are into soft swap only... because their definition may still be different form yours... or ours... We find it funny when everyone (including us) try to define degrees of any kinds of activities.. you will find some who say they are "selectively" bi... some who say they are into soft swap but will consider full swap... and some that are full swap.. but soft swap is ok for them... What it all boils down to is that the lifestyle is all about individual choices... and there is so much individualism that its difficult to put people into nice fitting labels... This Lifestyle demands communication and there is no substitution for just plain asking another couple EXACTLY what they are into and not into. Hope we didn't just confuse you further !!!